Many women think that
the key to beauty lies in the bottom of their makeup bag. There are a
million and one reasons why women believe this: they’re judged on their
appearance, pop culture and mass media support those judgements, and big
business makes its money offshamelessly promoting the before and after
effects of their miraculous products. The truth is, being beautiful
doesn’t come from a lipstick tube, mascara wand, or blush brush. The
following seven factors create a more lasting impression than any amount
of makeup ever could:
A
woman who is without passion is one dull woman. At times life can feel
like a Mack truck, ready to roll over us all at a moment’s notice. It’s
hard for a woman to slow down and take time to do the things that truly
bring her joy, but when she neglects the part of herself thatignites
her, then she is living a passionless existence.
A
woman who takes the time to follow her passions, whatever they may be,
understands that life is too precious to speed along without enjoying
the ride. A woman who enjoys all that life has to offer, not just her
partner or her relationships, is a woman who others admire. Why? Because
passion is contagious. Watching someone pursue her dreams is just about
the most beautiful experience human beings can have.
A
cold-hearted woman may love herself, but who loves her back? Think
about this. If a woman is incapable of feeling for others, who will feel
for her? Compassion, whether one is a mother, lover, colleague, mentor,
or friend, is the adhesive glue that holds relationships together.
Though self-absorbed celebrities are splayed over the front covers of
the magazine rack, most men don’t find narcissists all that appealing.
The
reality is, if a woman loves herself more than she is capable of loving
another, the only beauty she can boast of having is skin deep. A woman
who understands how to give and receive love is much more desirable than
a woman who has none to spare.
There
is a popular myth in our culture that a beautiful woman isn’t smart. In
fact, thisstereotype condemns women in two ways because the implication
is that smart women aren’t beautiful. This is a lose-lose scenario. If a
woman looks too appealing then she can’t have anything going on
upstairs, and if she “has her nose in a book” then she can’t be a
looker.
A
woman who doesn’t take time to cultivate her mind is like a writer who
never reads books. Neglecting one’s intellect is similar to shouting, “I
don’t need to understand the world — the world needs to understand me!”
Life doesn’t work like this. The pursuit of knowledge and truth is not
only attractive, but essential to our existence. Knowledge is
empowerment and empowerment is sexy.
Ever
tried to have fun with Debbie Downer? It’s really hard to share the
same space with a Negative Nancy and here’s why: No one loves a mope.
This is not to say that a woman must be Positive Peggie all the time. A
woman can and will taste disappointment in her life just like everyone
else. The point is, a sense of adventure and appreciation for all that
life has to offer is more attractive than relentlessly sticking to
routine and taking life’s opportunities for granted.
If
a woman can’t relax enough to take a spontaneous walk with her child or
sing her favorite song in the shower, who wants to join her? Her child
doesn’t dare ask her, and her husband doesn’t dare climb in the back of
the tub — capiche?
Nothing
is more beautiful than a woman who refuses to give up. Tenacity,
whether in one’s career, marriage, or physical health, is inspiring. The
world loves a fighter. Please don’t misunderstand. This isn’t a call to
arms or some sort of ultra-feminist mantra. Fighting over what to have
for dinner or which movie to see afterwards, that’s just not pretty.
Give
in a little, girl. Resilience isn’t about a woman’s control or refusal
to cede control over to another. It’s about believing that life can
never defeat her unless she allows herself to become defeated. Accepting
the worst or the best in equal stride, acting in such a way that either
outcome will not control her, that’s beautiful.
Speaking
of beauty, let’s talk about boasting. There’s a fine line between
bragging and being confident. Bragging is when a woman deliberately
describes herself in a self-congratulatorymanner so that others will do
just that: congratulate her. Seeking out praise for the sake of one’s
ego isn’t just selfish — it’s ugly.
Confidence
isn’t about wanting others to notice us and wanting them to tell us how
good we look, speak, think, or act. Confidence is about a woman feeling
proud of how she looks, speaks, thinks, or acts. A woman who doesn’t
need other people’s reassurance to help her feel this pride in herself
is infinitely more appealing than a woman who incessantly seeks others’
approval.
Finally,
the most beautiful quality about a beautiful woman can be summed up by
the total effect of all of the above. It’s her energy. A woman who has
an unmatchable vitality for life is and should be idolized. Set her in
stone or marble, if she will stay still long enough. Cast her in bronze,
something timeless. When a woman follows her passion, shows compassion,
pursues her intellect, keeps a sense of adventure, refuses to give up,
and believes herself to be worthy, then her energy will be the spark
that lights up everyone and everything around her.